Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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