He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
