She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
