i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
