Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
