did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize