How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
you never un-have a 4some
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
