New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
