If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
