The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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