if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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