my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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