If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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