omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
