??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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