Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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