Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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