Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize