And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Randomize
