My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
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I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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