I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
