I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
