Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
