I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
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