so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
