last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
