O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
