I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Randomize
