I smell stomach acid.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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