he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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