Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
