The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
