I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
