I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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