I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize