It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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