Heybabeimwearingurpanties
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
