Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
