nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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