it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
love makes seman taste better
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
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