I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
