And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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