honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
