Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
