You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
