Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
