I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
