i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
