i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
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we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
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I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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