So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
