please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Randomize
