ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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