MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Randomize
