: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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