How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
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