Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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