Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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