the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
