Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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