If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
