Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
