Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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