Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
